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The Elusive Burp

We’ve all been there..

It’s 3am, the baby is fed and what do you know it – he’s passed back out.
So there you are, sitting in the silence wondering what to do next.

You see – you know what comes next…

You know what you have to do…

And yet you find yourself sitting there staring at him wondering to yourself…

to burp or not to burp‘…

This is not some light decision – this is serious shit and it’s enough to send your anxiety levels through the roof. This decision has the potential to make or break you… and your night.


You tirelessly go over the possibilities and sit back as your half awake brain begins to lead to astray…

a) Carefully move him to the shoulder and begin the dreaded burp – before gently putting him down with an air of confidence that your work here is done – all the while running the risk that dear God – he awakens.


b) Leave him – don’t bother burping – carefully place him down and run off to bed.

You reason with yourself, eyebrows squinted with an expression that even in the darkness clearly reflects the gravity of the predicament you now find yourself in.

You continue…

…Hell maybe there isn’t even a burp in there and then what – I have woken him for no damn reason. I remember this one time he didn’t burp – maybe this is like that time.

You pause…

…But what if there is.
What if the burp is in there…

You stare down at your baby and wait as your brain begins to reboot…



Ladies I am only going to say this once – There is ‘always’ a burp in there.

He’s in there.

He’s waiting to f*** shit up.

Don’t trust him!



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One comment


My baby hardly ever burps after a feed. It seems eCh baby is different, however I have been told that breastfed babies generally don’t suck in as much air as bottle fed babies and therefore they often won’t burp. If my boy falls asleep, he is obviously comfortable enough and I will let him sleep.

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